So nobody will understand.. and Im thinking Im crazy and its all on me. You" You can get in touch with them directly by calling 1-800-799-7233, or if you are in a situation where you are unable to talk safely, you can log on to http://www.thehotline.org or text LOVEIS to 1-866-331-9474. This is a possibility, which is why you need to have an upfront discussion on the reasoning behind her desires. One day a guy I knew from HS messaged me about current events and made the comment my husband and I looked happy and he was happy for us, that Chad was a lucky man. I have known this lady for a year (through business) and always thought she was very nice, but nothing romantic. Im confused. I always thought about him, found myself checking on him via FB, and always still loved him and wondered what if. Recently my Ex reached out to me, letting me know he still cared for me, wanted to apologize for the past. He has come home two separate times and returned within days because he misses her. How do I get through this? I am not sure what I want; I am beyond confused and I also, just want to disappear. In order to keep the peace I had to lie and say that I would stick around and I sent him videos to encourage him to get help and see someone for therapy. I know nothing about this woman..not her name how she looks..nothingand there is no way I would ever have any sort of relationship with her because she knew he was married and still pursued him and broke my family apart. I am attached to a person i cant have (coz she is also married) and i am not left with any emotions for a person i have. Your email address will not be published. As soon as he walked in the room our eyes connected and I felt electricity throughout my body. He of course got extremely upset and it was more ups and downs where he would say I understand then cuss me out. I tried but I could no let go the flame as it became bigger and bigger. And doesnt like my suggestions, it makes him feel uncomfortable. Photo by Alexis Brown on Unsplash. Which I didnt want but I didnt want to keep fighting anymore and being told horrible things. Through talking to him Ive come to realize that Ive been hiding all the problems Ive had with my husband. I tell my wife and myself I dont still love her, but if I was honest with myself, I sometimes think I do and miss her. What was hurting me and why and what could we do to fix it. my husband been cheating on me for the past year she says she not going any where and says he says he loves her and he is not letting me go no divorce .he is torn between the both of us what can i do to keep him from seeing her he tries ignore her calls but she finds her way to his job and where he hangs out that is where they meet up at. It may just be that she wishes to spice things up in her sexual life and, instead of replacing you, she merely wants more of a selection in fulfilling her sexual desires. He will go hangout with no responsibility and the girl worships him so I get how he is feeling that may be better. And I just couldnt believe someone actually treated me with respect and genuinely cared to hear what was bothering me what was on my mind. He tells me I don't know what it's like to have only been with one person and there's no way that I can understand what he's feeling. issue within your relationship that needs to be addressed. This is an aspect that cannot be stressed enough. My wife meet's a black male for sex , we have been married 20 years, she me Im day 8 of no contact, Ive had some really. I have been sleeping with my husband for months and I just desire my ex boyfriend. We had a deep connection and since then i cantget him out of my mind. Why My Husband & I Sometimes Have Sex With Other People. I have been married 9 years. Am also worried if i stay in the marriage i may never be truly happy again as he (my husband)cant love me the way i want to be loved. My spouse is still abusive emotionally and mentally. "But I'm already married to Papa. Answer (1 of 20): Either you approve it or you'll end up losing her. Hi, Thank you for this article. Its easy to say CUT them OFF but its actually very tough to do if they are all you can think about for the moment. An obvious sign when a married man is flirting with you is when he compliments a woman's physical appearance, it's because he's being flirtatious, he wants her to know he finds her attractive. Hi Candice, thanks for your message! But everytime i think of losing him, my heart is heavy and i feel like my world will crumble. 1.3 3. After a year of my marriage I realized that it was always my high school friend I was in love with and I still love him till the present day, its the same for him as well. I think even if he started treated me right, Id still want my bestie, because it feels like hes the other half of me. I could choose for her and end it all myself, but that is not what I want. Physical touch is quite straight forward and we all know that it is a powerful way to communicate your love for someone. Its very important to ask yourself the tough questions to figure out if you WANT to make your marriage work or if you just feel obligated to do so. I told him i love him and if he cant handle the situation with me, he can choose to walk away and i will respect him with his decision. In our busy lives, many people dont feel like they get to spend enough time with their partners, and this is especially important for those of us whose love language is quality time. Even though, I knew I would be tempted to cheat I asked him if he would like to get lunch. Because this is something that I come across from time to time in my one-on-one coaching sessions with the people I work with, I wanted to take the time to write an article for you on what to do when you are married, but in love with someone else! What if you choose to cut ties with the person you fell in love with and return to your spouse could you repair the damage? Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. And it made me feel worse because I felt that I did the same infidelity that my spouse did to me about 7years ago. You want to be able to give a good example to what a healthy relationship looks like. When i met my husband, i cut off all contact with my Ex. Fantasy infidelities are not a sign that something . Though you might be feeling, Im so in love with you when you think about your over, you must also think about the effect it will have on your spouse and any children you may have. Thanks for the post and participation. Hello Daosk, please dont hesitate to reach out to us for one on one coaching. Sometimes the ride is so wild that you wind up in uncharted territory, with no idea how to proceed. In the beginning of what now is an affair, I tried to talk to my husband about my needs because I thought he deserves a chance to succeed but Im always met with some reason why I shouldnt feel that way. I'm very sorry you find yourself in this situation. But my problem is I cant let go of this guy. Theyre just our psychological responses to the events that are taking place around us. Yet I cant divorce my husband due to social stigma and potential effect on the children for not being with their biological dad. I want to forget and give my all to my wife, but I feel like what I did holds me back because I still feel some sort of connection with her. I dont talk to the guy i met online coz i dont want it to be used against me. I feel like I cant move on either way because I am ruining people. This is because adultery is defined as someone sleeping with someone elses spouse. I am married and attracted to someone else. I dont let him touch me. We only argue about affairs. Ive read a lot of books etc and am trying but with zero encouragement from him and no interest. Keep in mind that love is a choice. While chatting back and forth, my X fianc and i had never stopped loving each other. But it involves a lot of individual therapy and anti depressants. For some people the strongest indicator of a persons love and devotion is tangible symbols of their love. He has never loved any woman in his heart apart from me. The fact that she wants to sleep with someone else does not mean that she no longer loves or desires you, but it may simply mean that she is curious about what else is out there. 16 years ago when in high school I had a crush on a guy and we were good friends. So I often dont say anything. We have actually created a program that is designed to help people decide whether they want to keep trying to salvage a marriage or move on, and it offers tips and tools to go through with your decision with ease and peace of mind. All I know is the happiness I felt with my affair partner, and I havent felt anything even close to that since he left. If you determine that hes not going to change and you are not going to be happy, its time to think about exiting the marriage. And my oldest is pretty much telling me that I will never learn and grow up. Yes, sleeping with someone else might make him happy (for a while), and you might not have a jealous bone in your body. Its not that he is a bad person, he is very kind, tries to make me happy in his own way, we laugh a lot because we have the same humour. Why Does My Dad Get Mad Over Little Things? But Im married now and dont want to destroy my marriage. Hi JJ, thank you for sharing your story. I never talked to my friends or family about this because I chose to stay with him and didnt want people to view him differently or myself as pathetic for staying. In addition to that Ive recently been seeing someone who I feel understands me so much better. Unhappy and lonely, I tried to be content and happy whatever differences in opinions were and what ever much he hurt me I learned to let it go almost instantly. The sex part I tried, but it feels like I walked upon a wall and were not getting anywhere, so I stopped talking about that. Unfortunately your husband is displaying the red flags of already having started an affair. Hi there, I encourage you to be careful with leaving one person for another. And this one really helped. Say no to telling your hubby, and say no to the hot dude for now. Im just missing a connection, long talks, deep conversations, good sex, talking about problems, etc. I want my husband and an affair. So as I said, the key to making the right decision is weighing out the long-term consequences. And can I forgive her? Also, wanting variety doesn't mean you don't love the person you do. So I learned who I am, I studied, I got a good career, Im very interested in psychology and love to talk and philosophize. Ny feelings are all over the place right now and even though I know what I really want to do which is be with her I dont want to hurt my wife but at the same time Im tired of living my life for everyone else and I want to do something that I want to do for a change in my life and what I think is best for me. They do not see it as a means to derive pleasure whatsoever but that your sexual desires are met. Others have chosen toput their marriage back together, and have been very happy. In that same vein..are there things you used to do with others that you don't do with him? But my best friend, who I was in love with since I was 15 has been a constant in my life for years. I am at the point where i dont wanna try anymore. we're both married Married woman having affair with married man, I've been Dating a married Albanian man for 6 months already and NOT proud of it.Just wanna share my. Please dont hesitate to reach out to us for one on one coaching if you would like our help. This is mainly due to too much enlightenment on the part of your husband. Okay, so your wife wants to sleep with someone else, whether a woman or a man, you understandably have reservations and concerns on the matter. And then i met this guy, online from another country. heart of hearts that youre not up for addressing and solving these issues, then the Which makes this all the more difficult. I am so lost I just want to disappear. It doesnt have to be grandiose gestures it can be simple actions that show them how much you care and that theyre on your mind. We never broke. Dont leave the marriage for another person, though. The other man is a better husband to me and cares for my children than my husband does. As I explained, it is very easy to let the flame sizzle out by not maintaining the love between you. He works out of town and I feed the dogs if our daughter is unable to, I run errands for him while hes on storm work bc I am still legally his wife. 1.2 2. 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