It is always me who looks up special events to go to like Gamevention (cause he likes video games), new Indian restaurants (cause he likes spicy food), or initiates going for a walk. Weve been together for 2 years or so. We no longer sleep in the same bed, he has chosen to sleep on the couch. If I try to go out of the way to show gratitude, he insists I dont care. Ive been ok with not having children but no dog and no mutual desire for marriage as something wed like in our life (generally speaking) is becoming a pain point for me. His was 9 years ago but he is still very bitter. He also said that I know how he is and that he is tired from work. I get everyday but we go like 3 weeks to a month to once a month. I feel like I could spend my life with him if it were not for one issue that has always popped up. I just feel hurt and we just had a big fight yesterday and I feel kinda empty. thank you so much for posting this article since i really need clarity for my mind . Ignoring a man based on false projections often has drastic results. Like we will be having a nice time and something sets him off and he just spirals. I have been dating my BF for 7 months now. He blames his lack of functioning on his religious faith. Ive had absolutely enough. While you should always feel free to express yourself and say whats on your mind, take a good look at the way you're communicating. Hes talking about going to a rave and doing drugs and asked me to go.Tbh I just think he wants me to pay for everything. They say age shouldnt matter, but it does play a part. That same night, we agreed to date. Which actually does NOT suck because I was married for 24 years and I dont miss having to make sure someone eats supper, has clean clothes, etc. He is educated, working on a doctorate degree, employed, non smoker, drinks socially, is religious and knowledgeable about the Bible. I had the same thing. You can adjust your expectations and change your reactions. If youre always playing offense, you could continually be hurting your partner's feelings, thereby offending, alienating, and pushing them away. He doesnt reply to you, so he doesnt deserve to know youre going to find someone else. Heres my concern-We live 70kms apart amd stick to phone calls and texts and online communication. After that we were so in love and we talked all the time everyday. He said he loved me but that he was not happy with me and that it has been a long time since he began feeling this way. Even when I would ask him in advance if he would like to make plans this weekend, he would say something like, Probably or I have a lot to do but we will probably figure something out. And then it would be the last minute, Hey you want to come over? So I was already starting to get the clue that I am a last priority option. I then left home and came back a later day. I dont think my boyfriend knows how to deal with someone like me. (he was asked from her what are u doing, when she replied studying, he texted shall i come to study with u, and she replied there are my friends at my room, and he replied its k.no matter i ll come) But anyway after i saw it i lost my trust on him. Whats the good of having money and a nice house if you dont enjoy your life!??? He keeps doing this and now he is ignoring me again and idk whats going onhe was couch hopping but hes back at his sisters now and he wont answer my emails. A lot of times my boyfriend has realised he did it on purpose to hurt and he regrets his words right after. We both still live at home and even tho hes nearly 21, his parents still have some control over him, he doesnt talk back to them and theyre weird about him staying in my house and doing stuff with me (sometimes not all the time!) Girl and guy meet, girl is eager to see guy but cant find him, guy had gotten hit by a car, find each other on a dating app in a city full of a million people and start talking. He has made me grow in ways Ive never imagined. I was the one initiating our relationship and I feel like he thinks just being there is enough for me. We just hang out in my house. Also expected to cook, clean, do the laundry, take care of our pet. I clean, cook, bring him sandwiches to his work, take care of the dog while he does nothing. Hey so Ive been in a relationship for about 2 years now. Wanting me to be available for him. 7 Signs You Can Trust Your Boyfriend After He Cheated, 7 Ways to Convince Your Ex to Give You a Second Chance, When the Man You Love is Marrying Someone Else, When Your Ex Starts a New Relationship: 3 Ways Through the Pain, 7 Signs You Arent Ready for a Relationship, Emotionally Detaching From Someone You Love. I guess in the end we need to decide if hes worth all this heartache. 's life, you're sending clear signals that your partner isn't important to you. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years now.I think were quite compatible cause we dont fight much and understand each other. But I look at him for him. Sometimes I dont talk to see if hell bring anything up, and the silence is too awkward and long that I give in and say something else. Weve been together for 5 years. He also gave me his hat. Its been bugging me for a while but I finally decided to do something about the fact that he doesnt really seem to make an effort to see me. Recently,he told me hell be busy with work and i tried to understand our situation right now..But he i feel like he doesnt seems to give much effort for this relationship to get closer. Normally he kept our video call within 15 minutes, and he will keep quiet for a week after the call, but last one was lasted over half an hour and he went into silent for a few weeks after that. Youre boyfriend seems like a catfish. Its Valentines Day , I been with my boyfriend for 6 months. When I text, he ignores them for hours even when he is online in the meantime. It will be uncomfortable for awhile with out him, but its better on the other side. It took him 2 days to notice something. I think his lack of effort is reflective of being afraid of going through all of that again. Still didnt have my phone but my bf wanted to see me. Im right there with you though, I feel the same way about my bf of 2 years. This guy is not considerate at all and does not have your best interest at heart. When I ask him (nearly beg him) to do something so simple such as make the bed, I come home at 3 pm from work when he has the day off and the bed, room, everything including him is a mess! it took me years before I finally moved on. Hed say something really mean, watch my cry and if I asked to talk about it, Hed tell me why do we have to always talk about it or why cant you just drop it and not bring it up my favorite was Im not apologizing because Im not sorry, you just like making a big deal over nothing one time I asked about marriage (he took me to the red wood Forrest and asked me to marry him 2 years prior to this comment) he told me hed never marry a b**ch. We are here Reach out. He begrudgingly paid the initial payment of $600 but was pissed because he expected me to spend my winter break, the first break Ive had for myself since before my mom got diagnosed with cancer on 2020, working full time to save up the $1800 tuition. I dont think he would see it this way at all. Stacey Laura Lloyd is an author with a passion for helping others find happiness and success in their dating lives as well as in their relationships. I am very fortunate to be free from that. Sometimes I felt that he was mad at me, he would say that I was a show off or that I always took things too seriously. I feel so let down all the time when I really am not asking for much. That way, I can assure two things. Letting go means opening your heart and being your true self in all aspects of your life whether youre in a healthy relationship or starting over after a breakup. I just see so many girls that have boyfriends who do so much to keep them happy, it just feels like my boyfriend stopped trying. My boyfriend is Lebanese and given the situation there (economic crisis, unemployment rate and poverty rate are getting higher), he began manifesting symptoms of an overly stressed man. I am in q very similar situation. Thanks for your confidence in a random stranger. Youve probably heard of Love Languages before, and it sounds like your main love language is either physical touch or acts of service (showing someone you love them by doing things that help them). I realized he got into gaming with a girl for a long time. Thank you Sumiah, for your response and your concern. i felt unhappy with it.. i wanted to give up but i feel like im the only one who can understand him and love him uncondtionally. I have been working 70 hour weeks and I am doing an online MBA. His golden excuse is Im busy. My boyfriend of 7 years had lost interest over the past year, not wanting to see or spend time with me, 3 months now I havent seen him once. Try to be better. I feel it has been one sided in many ways and all he has given me is monetary odds and ends to compensate for the lack of emotional effort on his part. Hes everything youd want in a guy except for the fact that hes not romantic at all, sometimes I feel like he puts no effort into anything. Which I practically felt alone and excited to do things by myself. This man is no good for you, and he will never learn how to grow out of his depression if theres someone always doing everything for him. No boyfriend in the world can fill the emptiness that only God can fill. I appreciate when he does make effort and try to acknowledge it but it quickly goes away like he doesnt mean it. He tried and invited me to a restaurant 2 times but that has stopped as well now. And to be fair to him around a year in he got the message and now regularly checks in and asks to meet up. And i just wish the fighting would stop, i seriously cant take. He was a nice guy, we text back and Press J to jump to the feed. When he isnt at work he shuts himself in the bedroom and plays games whilst I deal with the kids. But I cant help but fear the same thing would happen again anytime soon.Im also an overthinker and I feel like hes losing interest cause hes been recently behaving like this frequently. It's easy for people to say, "It's As it turns out hes none of these things. In regards to the relationship, when you get more rest and relaxation and go back to your favorite hobby, find ways to invite the guy. So thats why he wasnt there and because his board broke. So I stopped doing that and now treat him like just a friend. If his texts arent super time-sensitive, then its okay to Things started getting better and then crashed on the rocks. Men just are good at keeping it closed up. You can go through the next 10 years like this cause this man is not miraculously going to change.do not for 1 minute think he is going to suddenly wake up and be who you want him to be. I dont have any family where I live to help out. Hes a good guy but I dont know why he stopped trying. Girl please, stop wading knee deep in his shit! He betrayed his best friend, he betrayed the woman that has been loving him. But he appriciate my participation in some kind of sexul things. ! And then what we talked about was not set in stone and that things change. I am this woman. I told him i was confused and he said he was dealing with smthn and didnt feel like saying what it was but instead he took it out on me. Day after, he went for work in other city and stayed there for 3months. But in the last month, I have noticed that I am always initiating meeting with him, and he would suggest in the very same day or at the spare of the moment for me to pass by his place and we end up spending 2 hours or so with each other having sex and then I leave because one of us has a commitment. That being said, on Christmas or birthdays or Valentines day, I expect something. X. I know this is a late reply but do you feel like he respects you? From what you said, he seriously dont appreciate you. I got upset and she said she was done being friends with me so yeah that happened. Disappointment is a strong emotion to deal with. My guy is the same way. Just know youre not the only one feelings this Im not sure what is going on because I confront him about it and he says he just hasnt been on his phone. he likes to live in the moment as he says. Anyways, he has told me before that he plans to make me his girlfriend, we have great conversations, hes very flirty but the problem is he doesnt text me often or try to call or set up a date. I just dont know what to do. Mildly work related topics but no reason for the call other than chat and vent. Hi girl, Im in the same situation right now. Every time I have to make the first move conversation and ask what to do, He has no idea. WebHe gets upset when he sees me giving attention to other guys but goes back to ignoring me when I give him attention. He called and asked me to come and get himwhich I did. He talks but does not deliver. Around the 5th month, he asked me to be his girlfriend but then he quickly retracted it after realizing how serious we were about to be. monthly anniversaries, birthdays, gifts, restaurants, and so on everything disappeared after a conflict he said doesnt see a future with me as he barely thinks about his own future. A week after that, I was at a summer camp and me and him were on ft. I get it Im not a good gamer but I like the company. Hi I have been in relation with my boyfriend for 3 months now. I hope you work things out- either way. We had to fight a lot so I can see his friends pictures. Were both divorced. even on weekends, hes always busy. Its insane. He got a divorce just over two years ago and lately he has been having some family issues. I dont know why he got back with me when he cant even put effort. He dosnt wnt to sex i know that well. Ive been dating my boyfriend for four years. Damn this just made me cry because this is exactly what Im going through rn. He does not believe relationships should take work he doesnt want to have to work or make it work which is unrealistic. Even though he always said he would try. Then I gave up on trying to figure it out. Am I expecting too much from him? Its up and down. I sometimes think my expectations are too high. Yep. I bought so much things to do for his birthday . I just want to have a nice time, an interesting conversation. He has always been lazy and wants to spend his day relaxing on his days off. If you ever need a friend dont hesitate to reach out. Honestly, I cant feel good about myself because I gave an attention hungry narcissist permission to treat me like crap for 7 years. Another thing is when Im at his house, I help him do things as far as remodeling a business, such as painting, knocking plaster off the walls, moving very large windows, doors, fireplace mantels, etc. His excuse was that he had no time because of work. In fact, because you are so young, they will most likely find you when you least expect it. Writing down your expectations will not only help you gain clarity and insight into yourself, itll also help you see if you need to change what you expect of your boyfriend. Im an essential worker so I work fulltime while he sits at home playing video games all day long. Theres always a chance that this will trigger self-reflection, and he will crawl back, and you can decide whether to give a second chance. The moment we start falling in love with spending time alone, and with good friends, spend more time away from him, but still caring for them when we are available, that way, if he is truly someone worth being with and if he truly loves you, he will be the one missing you being curious of what exciting things you are up to. If, however, your boyfriend really has lost interest in you, then you may have to be painfully honest with yourself. When were on nights out and theres drink involved, he has a habit of literally disappearing for the whole day (with other people he knows that arent in my circle) and he doesnt contact me, when I try to contact him he usually does answer but after talking to him I never see any sign of him. He ignores me for a week and then talks to me like he rlly loves me and nothing happened. Its been almost 2 yrs with him and I hot him gifts ( handmade thoughtful gift and a tshirt) he hot me nothing for my bday. And mind you the beginning of relationship we always traveled and did things together. Another thing that bothers me is he will ask me about my day or some other question, then when I answer, he switches the subject back to himself. Its also heartbreaking, especially when you want to be with him. Today he also told me that he was not ready to spend so much time on a relationship. These are no games. I want to make things work. Both Christmases weve been together hes given me money with the excuse that he doesnt have time to shop. 7 years and because his board broke appriciate my participation in some kind of things! To fight a lot so I was already starting to get the clue that I a. Online in the meantime then its okay to things started getting better and crashed! Much and understand each other know why he wasnt there and because board. 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