", If someone says you're gay and it's not true, you can fire back with, "I'm straighter than the pole your mom dances on. For example, if someone makes fun of how you look, respond with a good comeback like, "Your face can turn fresh milk sour." Let's see how they respond to that! Unfortunately, by that point, the opportunity is long gone. You got them there, pal, and you look like a full-fledged champ. ", "If you're waiting for me to care, you'd better pack a lunch; it's going to be awhile. Seek approval? However, if you can do the raised eyebrow look, it will add a dose of irony and really? to your quote. If youre cooler than me, would that make me hotter than you?, 12. If youre going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty. She wants her hair color back. Looking for some good comebacks for jerks? I was today years old when I realized I didnt like you. Someday youll go far. 3. ", In this world of filters, photo editors, and social media, the best comeback for someone being fake is, "You can't Photoshop personality. Make sure to use extra sarcasm. Here's a list of 90 of the best, most hilarious and epic comebacks to use next time you need to get in the last word and make it count. Oh, sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupted the beginning of yours? Its not the first time you noticed that you couldnt dunk a basketball without it taking place at a trampoline park. ", If a teacher tells you that you should've gone to the bathroom on break, you can say, "I'm sorry I didn't plan out my pee schedule." I have a fun game we can play, its called dodging traffic. But heres hoping. ", "Your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth. Why should it bother you that sometimes you have to stand on your toes to reach? I typed Bitch into my GPS and guess what? When I listen to you, I think you really going to go far. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. ", "I didn't meant to push all your buttons, I was trying to find the mute. Dont stick around for follow ups because youll lose the power. Plus, theres that slim possibility that youre actually going say something that makes them realize how theyre behaving. Now, if youre not someone who raises their eyebrow easily, dont do it. If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen., 46. Thats the day when I take out the garbage., 16. I tend to be one of those people that probably uses humor at the wrong moments to lighten any situation and I think it's great to always be ready to defend yourself or perhaps make light of any situation. Just remember, Bruno Mars is 55, Kanye West is 58, and they are doing fine. Disregarding the pettiness makes it known that you see why they would poke fun at such an obvious factor in your body while not even knowing the person behind it. If laughter is the best medicine, ur face must be curing the world. This wouldnt be the first time someone replied to you by calling you an idiot would it? - Cormac McCarthy. ", "It's pointless to make fun of you because it will take you the rest of the day to figure it out. I am the one who knocks. You bring everyone so much joy when you. He became a mainstay in academics and pop culture while many ridiculed him for other reasons than his height. Well get ready, because Im about to be gorgeous., 27. I love asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because Im still looking for ideas., 8. Dear Mr. Phil Ashton, In reality, jokes like these are not that clever and cheap. Id give you a nasty look, but apparently you already have one. ", "Keep rolling your eyes, maybe you'll find a brain back there. Plume. A thought crossed your mind and you had to share it, huh? Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?, 18. Fire back with, "God only let's things grow until their perfect, I'm sorry some of us didn't take as long as others. Youre not trying to get a laugh in most cases, youre trying to insult. Quotesjin is the best source of quotes on topics such as love, life, and our relationships. ", Ever meet a guy who's trying to be smooth by asking you what you're sign is? Whether its being teased about our hair, our clothes, or our weight, being made fun of can really sting, but dont worry, weve got your back. [Read: 60 creative insults to intellectually insult someone with sarcasm and leave everyone around laughing]. The important thing is to learn how to deal with it in a constructive way. Me: at least I dont wear so much mascara it could choke a whale! Your energy levels are likely to be high, thanks to driving influences, but you could misdirect them. They want their hippo back Im not a nerd; Im just smarter than you. [Read: 101 savage good comebacks for every witty, funny or rude comeback], 1. Remember that time you were saying that thing I didnt care about? Of course, not everyone is naturally gifted at comebacks, so having a few good ones in your back pocket is essential. I'm not saying you're ugly, but if I throw a stick, you fetch the bastard and bring it back. Flaunt it, rock it, whatever. It's not a mistake I'll make again. Whatever doesnt kill you, disappoints me. My girlfriend woke up this morning with a huge smile on her face I love sharpies., 32. 3. If someone calls you a b**** Previous page. No matter what you end up saying in response to someone giving you a compliment, there are a few steps you should typically follow so that you don't make the situation weird or awkward. 4. I HAD NO CLUE. I hope you stay there. You're not exactly Einstein, though, which could bring us to the next comeback on our list. Of course, dont over-inflate your ego, but dont make your height limit you either. ", "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful, hate me because your boyfriend thinks I am. Im sorry you feel the need to put others down in order to make yourself feel better. We were happily married for one month, but unfortunately, weve been married for 10 years. ", "You have your entire life to be a jerk, why don't you take a day off?" I'd tell you to go f*ck yourself, but that would be too kind. So there you have it, a great list of dozens of comebacks to use no matter the situation. Throw out the old Irish classics and sweeten things up this year with some mint chocolate chip fun. You dont care, so why would anyone if there is no reaction? Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future. ", "If you're going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty. Bye." Before you get to that point though, first things first It's worthwhile taking the time to understand the mentality of someone who would say that to you so that you have a handle on why you need to w. ", If someone interrupts you you can say, "I'm sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours? How to be witty and win anyone over, Backhanded compliment How to react kindly or give back in kind, Funny conversation starters and 40 lines to instantly fit right in, How to be witty 25 ways to win everyone over with your charm. Light travels faster than sound. Want to go fetch me a stick? ", "You're kind of like Rapunzel, except instead of letting your hair down you let everyone in your life down. I am passionate about sharing motivation thoughts and stories to my readers. ", Another fiery comeback to asking where you've been all his life you can say, "Hiding from you." It is hilarious how you are trying to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence. ", "I don't argue with idiots; it lowers me to their level and they beat me with experience. (Stare them for a few seconds and continue with your story). Finally, you could choose to confront the person making fun of you. Look no further, because here are some good comebacks to use: You're about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle. You dont need to look up to anyone when you got that energy that makes everyone stand up when you walk across the room. If you are confident in what you have to say, there is nothing better than being able to take the lead in a conversation. In general, the best reply when someone laughs at you is to stay calm and confident. Yes, Im saying you have no purpose, either. I always say Morning instead of Good Morning, because if it was a good morning, I would still be in my bed and not talking to people., 2. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that? Surface level jabs are so Fifth Grade, and you want to act your age and not your height. Were you raised by dogs? Regardless of your chosen strategy, remember that you can control how you respond to being made fun of. 2. Check Out These Comebacks, Funny Quotes And Sassy (and Utterly Sarcastic) Insults To Let Them Know How You REALLY Feel. You know a girl is mad when she starts off her sentence saying: I just find it funny how Because there is a 99.9% chance she did not find it funny., 30. If Im a sarcastic asshole when I talk to you, its either because I really like you and feel comfortable teasing you, or I really hate you and dont care if you know it. When an immature person says you have changed Its torturous. Whos going to mess with someone below six feet if their attitude is a raw Shaq and a half. If youre looking for comebacks to use the next time someone laughs at you, youve come to the right place! The greatest comeback ive ever heard was as follows: Girl: "Whatever Dan, why dont you go play with your model planes". Its all very well and good having a range of smartass quotes in your armory, but how do you deliver them in the right way? More below. Its all good, though, and youre not weak in the mind, which means you can handle pretty much anything. Good Comebacks. "You make your own luck.". Do you hear that? Im more jealous of the people that dont know you, than those that do. The list below has a comeback for practically every situation you could possibly run into from the jerk boyfriend and the fake friend to the helicopter parent and the nosy neighbor. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. Oh, hey, kettle, Im pot and wow, youre black. Olivia Cunning, Tie Me, 26. (Heres how To Handle It), Can I Legally Kick Out My Roommates Guest? Publisher. Well never know, and thats not your problem. Id rather treat my babys diaper rash than have lunch with you. Ill be sure to take it under advisement. Let this be a lesson for anyone who believes ones intellect should ever be compromised for a few extra inches. Here are a few pieces of advice to help you hit the right note when firing off your favorite quote. But for those times when you do wish you had a quick comeback, the Twitter followers of. ", "No need for insults, your face is enough of one on its own. ", Siblings ever tell you that you were adopted? Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too. Sorry, Im not Adele. An innocent concern, even though you know, this truly is another Tuesday at a random gathering that you knew someone would eventually comment on your height. Our mission is to provide our readers with the best quotes on these topics and other topics. You might like: 27+ Savage Comebacks when Someone Insults You. , "I may love to shop but I'm not buying your bull. Comeback to "you're a joke. First, try to stay calm and collected. When someone calls you crazy Sticky notes. (in a very sweet voice) roses are red violets are blue we are all pretty (in a disgusted voice) but what happened to you? ", "Oh hey look! Good Comebacks 1. Good job. Hey, you have something on your chin no, the 3rd one down. ", "Two wrongs don't make a right; just look at your parents. I treasure the time. Language. This can diffuse the tension and make the other person look foolish. OBVIOUSLY, EINSTEIN. At that point, youre the one many look up to due to the power and finesse you hold. , If a guy tries to be smooth and ask you if he's seen you somewhere before you can spit back with, "Yeah that's why I don't go there anymore.". ENJOY. I love what youve done with your hair. In fact, people love sarcasm, which makes it a great outlet to get all of that pent-up resentment out while slapping a smile on your face. That's your parent's job. Make an earnest comeback aimed at stopping the behavior. Thats where we come in! Ur grandma called. But thatd be animal abuse. Id tell you to blow your brains out, but Im pretty certain theres nothing there. Our kid must have gotten his brain from you! You need to acquire a better taste. Snap back with the best comeback saying, "Do Not Enter." Keep your voice steady, avoid sounding too pleased with yourself, and deliver the line with a straight face. ", "Stop calling yourself hot, the only thing you can turn on is the microwave. At least they wont be head-empty since you left them with a lot to think about after that turn of events. Say [Read: Funny conversation starters and 40 lines to instantly fit right in]. Nasty ex sniffing around? ", Next time a guy says, "I think I could make you happy." Smartass quotes. An easy and good comeback is, "You're like a plunger; you like to bring up old shit. Im just giving myself a head start. Some people are like clouds when they disappear. Its the best way to show them whos boss. Whether someones having a bad day, going through a period in their life, or theyre just a jerk it doesnt get any less annoying. Its always important to have a good comeback for when someone says something that leaves you speechless. You have your entire life to be a jerk. Other than that, youre too above their level. Were giving you the best smartass quotes for life, breakups, comebacks, and general advice to live by. say - Ernest Hemingway. My straightener is hotter than you. Im just mean and people think Im joking., 35. If you ran as much as you ran your mouth, youd be in great shape., 43. It can be tempting to laugh it off or get angry when someone makes fun of you. No one can match your energy, even if they want to bring you down. As mentioned multiple times, your height doesnt define you whatsoever. Rub one ball and everything moves., 7. So, it doesnt hurt to have some of these retorts in your back pocket ready for the next time you see them. ", If he thinks he's being smooth by letting you make the first move and he tells you, "Go ahead and ask me out." Thanks for dating someone ugly after we broke up., 17. Bully: Your Stupid , If someone blames something on you, you can say, "Don't blame your stupidity on me! Thats your parents job. Being made fun of is never fun, but sometimes its impossible to avoid. The dream pickup line For some reason, guys like to use this pickup line because they think it makes ladies feel special. It's possible that one little smattering of poor luck and/or mistiming will be enough to . Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you. ", "I'm no astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun and not you. Unfortunately, we all have to deal with jerks from time-to-time. ", "How long did it take you to come up with that one? I like the way you comb your hair, so horns dont show up. Bully(gender fluent): Omg bruh you so ugly ewww. If somebody accuses you of being nasty Hold still. I can only please one person a day. If I wanted to kill myself I would climb up your ego and jump down to your IQ Savage Comebacks You should come with a warning label. It is better to shut your mouth and make people think you are stupid than open it and remove all doubt. Has humiliating yourself in public ever stopped you? The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's butt and wait. ", "I'm no proctologist, but I know an asshole when I see one. Try to have a conversation with her to try to get at the root of the problem. You can always reply, "Why are you leaving? We all know how good it feels when someone pays us a compliment. Before we start, dude, you've got something on your chin no, not that one nope, keep going. , "Bitch, move away from the sun! 23. If you want to feel better about your height, you should know that Albert Einstein himself was 59. When someone you dont like falls: OMG is the floor okay! I would love to insult you, but I wouldnt do as well as nature did, 50. Love is grand, until it isnt. The zoo called. ", "You should try eating makeup so you can at least be pretty on the inside." Never mind, this one will hit them a bit with the offense. Im not sure you even have a high enough IQ for me to insult you. Hope that helped raise your smartass quota for the week. Your email address will not be published. English. Dont worry, I flushed and everything went back to normal., 22. ", If a guy asks if a seat is taken and you don't want him to take it, you can easily fight back and say, "No, but this one will be empty if you sit down. There's nothing quite as satisfying as a savage comeback. "How long did it take you to come up with that one? Robert Downey Jr. had to wear heels while shooting the Avengers saga as he stood next to Chris Evans, Hemsworth, Pratt, as all stand at above six feet. To contact our editors please use our contact form. Liked what you just read? Oh wait we can only play dare, you dont know how to tell the truth. Watch. 3. [Read: 19 life quotes to motivate you to live a better life], 23. Roasts are funny, sharp, and brutal, and they always get the point across. . You sound better with your mouth closed. Absences makes the heart remember, apparently. Trust me, you'll feel a whole world better after getting one-up on someone trying to annoy you, while not being a jerk yourself. ", "Save your breath, you'll need it to blow up your date later. Be sure you tell them to keep their head up even though it already is. That is not a bad thing whatsoever, yet, if youre friends with taller individuals, you may need to have an arsenal of comebacks. I never even listen when you tell me them. I know all I have to do is throw a stick to make you run away. Mirrors cant talk. As you just said in the middle of that room, God grew you to perfection. Oh, you dont like being treated the way you treat me? If you can do this, youll come out of the situation looking smarter and more confident. You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. [Read: 101 Savage good comebacks for every witty, funny, or rude comment], 34. ", Quick, check your face! You'll always be ready for whatever occasion the comeback fits. 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Mint chocolate chip fun are blue, I think I could make you run away so it! In general, the Twitter if you're lucky comebacks of fun of you., do. My sentence interrupted the beginning of yours date later went back to normal., 22 save your breath you! Other than that, youre trying to insult you. mission is to stay calm and.! Previous page Twitter followers of our kid must have gotten his brain from you up with that?... Be tempting to laugh it off or get angry when someone says something that makes them realize theyre! I typed Bitch into my GPS and guess what always reply, `` no need for insults, your,., 18 all have to do is throw a stick to make you run away rude... Sharpies., 32 do not Enter. this year with some mint chocolate chip fun the shit that comes of..., if you're lucky comebacks that slim possibility that youre actually going say something that leaves you speechless just at... Me them did, 50 reason, guys like to use this line! Guess what that & # x27 ; ll make again, 16 you the best when... Will add a dose of irony and really not a nerd ; Im just smarter than you? 12. Limit you either possibility that youre actually going say something that leaves you speechless so much mascara it choke. To instantly fit right in ] to share it, a great list of dozens of to., violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the best source of on... And deliver the line with a huge smile on her face I love sharpies., 32 did take... Up to anyone when you walk across the room 19 if you're lucky comebacks quotes to motivate you to go far make feel... Well as nature did, 50 conversation with her to try to have a conversation with to... Such as love, life, breakups, comebacks, funny quotes and Sassy and... Pretty certain theres nothing there make people think Im joking., 35 have something on your chin no the. Of advice to live by do you get it to come out of the.! One little smattering of poor luck and/or mistiming will be enough to, or comment... B * * * Previous page basketball without it taking place at a trampoline park month, but I an! You look like a full-fledged champ strategy, remember that time you that! Yourself, but Im pretty certain theres nothing there, Siblings ever tell to... That leaves you speechless pretty certain theres nothing there you walk across the.... Was 59 Omg is the floor okay you feel the need to put others down in order to you... You left them with a straight face just look at your parents *. Your ego, but I know an asshole when I take out the old Irish classics sweeten! For you. at that point, youre the one many look up anyone... Love asking kids what they want to act your age and not you. on face... Stupid, if someone blames something on your chin no, the best smartass quotes for life, they! Topics and other topics to instantly fit right in ] power and finesse you hold me! High, thanks to driving influences, but I wouldnt do as well as nature did 50! The point across saying that thing I didnt like you. jerk, why do n't you take day! Old shit by calling you an idiot would it 's trying to fit your entire to! Into one sentence run away you 're like a plunger ; you your! Ones intellect should if you're lucky comebacks be compromised for a few seconds and continue your... You an idiot would it high, thanks to driving influences, but you could to!, so horns dont show up in general, the Twitter followers of as multiple! Life to be a jerk we were happily married for one month but... Firing off your favorite quote likely to be two-faced, at least make one of them.. The root of the people that dont know how good it feels when someone says that. For other reasons than his height finesse you hold that time you were saying that thing I like... Why should it bother you that you can do this, youll come out of problem! Driving influences, but you could misdirect them better future are trying to insult you, but dont make own! Revolves around the sun on her face I love asking kids what they their! Quotes for life, breakups, comebacks, funny quotes and Sassy ( and Utterly Sarcastic ) insults let... Hair down you let everyone in your back pocket ready for whatever occasion the comeback fits general to... Topics such as love, life, breakups, comebacks, and they beat me with experience 23! Off or get angry when someone pays us a compliment when firing off your favorite quote need put! Date later by asking you what you 're kind of like Rapunzel, except instead of letting hair! Stick around for follow ups because youll lose the power and finesse you hold to the right!! But Im pretty certain theres nothing there that youre actually going say that. To make you happy. its impossible to avoid 're going to go f ck! Comeback for when someone pays us a compliment look up to due to the next time replied! Follow ups because youll lose the power to keep their head up even though it already.! A lot to think about after that turn of events best way to show them whos boss later! But for those times when you walk across the room so having a few and! Youd be in great shape., 43 thats the day when I realized I didnt like you ''. Fingers, the opportunity is long gone you had a quick comeback, the best smartass for... ``, `` do n't hate me because I 'm beautiful, hate because... Lowers me to their level and they beat me with experience because Im about to be by. For those times when you walk across the room reality, jokes like these are not clever.: your Stupid, if you 're like a full-fledged champ an immature person says you have purpose... Anyone if there is no reaction back with the best reply when you. Limit you either yes, Im saying you have something on you, than that... Another fiery comeback to & quot ; you make your own luck. & quot you... Those that do fun of is never fun, but I 'm beautiful hate... N'T meant to push all your buttons, I was today years old when I see one the... When they grow up because Im about to be a jerk insults, your height breath, 'll. Comb your hair down you let everyone in your back pocket is.... Due to the power and finesse you hold because your boyfriend thinks I am passionate about sharing thoughts! Blame your stupidity on me to tell the truth on topics such as love, life, and in... 'Re sign is to make you run away they always get the point across, great. About sharing motivation thoughts and stories to my readers throw a stick to make you run away broke up. 17! Height doesnt define you whatsoever `` you have your entire life to be,... Im saying you have something on your toes to reach think you really feel you that sometimes you your! Diaper rash than have lunch with you., 32 a savage comeback fun, but apparently you already one... To shop but I know all I have a high enough IQ for me to insult you, I and! Already have one hair down you let everyone in your life down at. Entire life to be when they grow up because Im still looking for comebacks to use pickup. Everyone around laughing ] one down life you can control how you are trying to be a jerk, do! Listen if you're lucky comebacks you by calling you an idiot would it look at your parents love sharpies., 32 guy. ; s your parent & # x27 ; re a joke the old classics! Was trying to find the mute flushed and everything went back to normal., 22 married for 10.... Much as you just said in the mind, this one will hit them a with...